Welcome to my world.

If you're worried that the Large Hadron Collider has destroyed the world, here's a handy website to help you check:

http://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com/

OK, its a new game.

Pick a name for your pandemic. Seems to be commonly associated with an anmial/creature of some sort. Lets say; Albatross.

Then pick an ailment or contaigon. For the sake of example. Herpes.

We now have a new disease to worry about. Albatross Herpes. (OK, thats a bad example, because quite frankly, it makes you out to be an Albatross fucker for a start! But I am sure you get the idea)

The game is to start conversations about this new disease and to convince the people around you that the world is collapsing around their ears dues to it. The winner is the one who gets a headline in the daily mail.

One rule. You are not allowed to get an easy headline by involving Princess Diana in any way... ;p

Gene Hunt is Offensive and sexist.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8366133.stm

Oh yeah, the new M&S advert has a sequence where various celebs repeat to camera what Christmas is. And one of them is Philip Glennister, who uses his Gene Hunt voice to suggest that its about 'that girl prancing around in her underwear'...

The commercial then clips the the girl who states 'moi' coqetishly

thing is, its all in the effing voice. he is doing that one 'in character'...

They didn't seem to be too bovvered by Twiggy vapidly going on about that little black dress like she does every-bloody-year, or even Steven Fry going on about having a little mince...

Oh no, other stereotypes get left alone and its poor old Gene Hunt that gets a battering. Which I suppose has a hint of iront about it, after all that was the point of the character in the first place.

Dont take my word for it. Here's the ad in question...

@ Star Wars Episode III

Obi-Wan just asked Yoda not to send him against Anakin because he wouldn't be able to kill him. And yet, he IS able to chop off his arms and legs and then watch as the nearby lava sets him on fire and then just walk away. Really. At that point killing Anakin might actually have been the nicer option?

There is a wonderful moment when the Vader mask goes on, and James Earl Jones takes over the voice… For just a split second the magic is there, and nearly all is forgiven. Unfortunately the next moment is pissed on when the first moments of Lord vader are all whiney teenager/Frankensteins monster impression…

I am not sure wahts more annoying that George Lucas had to make the prequels, or that the internal inconsistancies were so keenly felt. Or that I paid to watch these damn things at the cinema… As Obi Wan once said. Whose the more foolish. The fool or the fool that follows him. Dammit george Lucas, you warned us off back in 1977!!!

@ The Wizard of Oz.

My mum suggested that 'Ruby Slippers' should be sold in shops and would be a top seller. My knowledge of the counter culture appropriation of Dorothy as a Gay Icon thinks that these might see even stronger sales if produced in mens sizes...

@ Octopussy.

They really gave up trying for cunningly saucy names in Bond here didn't they, and just went for Octopus but changed the last bit to 'pussy'. WTF, did they hand a creative meeting over to Beavis and Butthead or something?

And the reason is that it was her Dads nickname for his little girl. That makes it even more gross! I mean ewwwwwww!

Really sorry guys.

I have been cut off with the new job.  I no longer have a nice private monitor in which to review content and relate my daily waily...  And when I do get home I end up job hunting and playing Bejewelled Blitz over in Facebook.  Or playing with the baby, or watching some telly...  Or cooking...  Or going out somewhere.

:(

I hadn't realised just how important my daytime access was in here. And I felt that I ought to at least try and show my precence round these parts before you all forgot who I was.

And I miss it.

Not enough to stop playing Bejeweled Blitz mind. 


(erm, yes, I have been drinking, why do you ask?)

So I've been busy.

As regular readers will have been aware I was made redundant due to an office move on the 25th September.  Slightly less well known is that the week before my 'kick-arse' visually stunning CV got some bad feedback, leading me to revise it back to its original state.

Oddly.  The gap in which I received no incoming calls regarding jobs in any way exactly matched that in which the CV update was in use.

Bugger.

Anyway, that did mean that the week before redundancy I was getting calls and opening availabilities again.

So far in a week and a half I have had 3 interviews.

Virgin Media.  temping Contract until Dec 1st.  For pretty good money.  A position that I was successful in achieving and start tomorrow.

Serco as a Bid Administrator, which I interviewed for yesterday.  Feedback has let me know that this was less successful, apparently I was too strong a candidate, and would risk rising beyond the role into a position that wasn't available...  So they gave the job to someone else.

There is also another role, less pay, different sector, but setup by a mate.  I think its got prospects but EVERYONE around me keeps telling me to say no to it...  Which is starting to annoy.  This one I have a second interview for next week, but my general feeling is particularly positive, I would go as far as saying its in the bag, but I might suggest that is a possibility....

So.  back to work.  Even if its just temping.

I didn't get the job.

So after more than a week of waiting, and after phoning in to enquire, I actually phoned again last night...  And followed up the call with an email (an in-refernce to my recent call type-of-thing), which I did to see if there was an out of office on to give me an idea as to whether there was a reason for the lack of response.

Big Mistake.

At 7.30 pm the HR person at the company emailed me back to say ;
'sorry, been out of the office, you were unsucsessful in your application...'

You.  What.

I worked my arse off trying to get a lookin at that job, I made it to second interbview, and then after all that, I was kept hanging for 2 weeks without a word, during which I was forced to chase them to get an idea as to what was going on...  And then to cap it off you dont even have the professionalism to talk to me directly about it?  Words fail me.  No.  Actually, they dont.  But the ones that sopring to mind are mostly short and anglo-saxon...  Lots of 4-letter words.

*Breath*

What the kind of half-arsed operation are you running?  Where is your sense of professionalism!?!?!  You dont e-mail  someone to tell them this, if you cant have the decency to phone then tyou really DONT deserve to do any recruitment, ever.

I am angry about this, want to know how angry?  I have not been this angry since a girlfriend rang me up when I was out with the lads on my birthday to dump me.   I am scared too, probably heightening my anger at the situation, because this means that I am now at the end of my job here and now I am unemployed... 

But really angry that stupid unprofessional people like that get to keep their jobs in the face of things, when decent people suffer and fall.  Hell, I often feel that I could do most peoples jobs standing on my head with my eyes closed the sheer volume of stupid that seems to prevail in the average workplace.

So yes, I was really interested in the job, it did sound like the kind of thing that I really wanted to do, but if this HR person is representative of the kind of stupid working for the company, and shows their level of professionalism then I have probably had a slim escape.

Now all I have to do is find a job to pay the mortgage and raise a child on.

Oh for the record the company was called STI (http://www.sti-limited.com/) stupid set of initials to give a company anyway...

They might claim to buy any car (dot com), but it seems that they are not actually contractually obliged to buy every  car (dot com)...

Discuss.

;p

OK, I had a bit of an epiphany over the weekend.

Taken in context of film tone and target audience, the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is probably the scariest character de3dicated to celuloid.  Ever.  And thats based on the original interpretation as well, not the more recent Daily Wail Peado threat interpretation...

Discuss.

I am really struggling... Over in Facebook someone sent me a message wishing me a happy 36th birthday, but I thought it was 37, and TBH I have lost count a bit.

I am really struggling with counting years and ages since the last round number, but I am bloody certain its 37...

This is not a good sign is it?


(BTW. Not heard anything yet about the job, but I am on tenderhooks...)

Job interview today. So I got the suit on, its the second interview that I told you about, and its a job that appeals to me, and is a good step forward. Keep your fingers crossed for me, huh?

I have already had to sew a button on my suit jacket when it came off in the office this morning. That was a challenge in poor lighting, but thankfully there was a sewing kit in the office.

Later on, it'll be Weds. When I turn 37. And there are going to be precious few people in the office. As there are quite a few last days as people move to new jobs or their new office, its going to leave only a smattering of us in here. I think cream cakes for 3 or 4 people from the looks of it...

My manager has finally found someone for me to hand the job over to. Its just a shame that it got left this late in the day (apparently the preferred team-leader refused to drive on the motorway on her own, which compounded with my requirement to remain near home in order to better respond to incoming job alerts quicker...)

And then blink-and-you'll-miss-it, it will be Friday and I will have only 1 week left until I join the ranks of the unemployed. :(

So, we went back for the second attempt at the photo shoot yesterday, and it went rather well, this time Niya was calmer and happier, and a lot more compliant... So we got some really nice pics. Sure, we spent more than we thought, but have some nice prints for the baby, good for the walls now, and of course as blackmail material when she starts bringing friends around... Bwa-ha-ha...

Based on the experience, it was worth doing, and certainly good for the 100-day milestone, but we may not use the other vouchers... Dunno, lets see how it goes...

Sorry to say that now we have to wait 2 weeks to get the chosen prints back, and then I can do a dosgy scan and let you see them, these places are too protective of their copyright to let you get a digital copy...

Next up. Weaning...
(any of you parents got any tips for that?)

Virgin Media ISP home page did a little bit abpout random dstar wars merchandise... I thought I was going to rave about the Darth Vader Tooaster.

http://www.virginmedia.com/movies/movieextras/top10s/weirdest-star-wars-merchandise.php


Oh No.


Best. Desk. Ever!

In 2 weeks. My office closes and as a result I become unemployed.

I dont yet have a job to go to...

And in the meantime the office is slowly being raided for its bis, we have lost coffee machines, microwaves, breakroom sofa's, desks chairs... Its getting fairly bare in here... Not particularly helped by the average attendance in here having decreased to 3-4 of us daily.

Alot of thats going to other offices, but the fact that a fair amount of the furniture is old means its going to be thrown away, I have suggested donating it to charity, but apparently the agents that deal in that would end up charging us more than the disposal fees to cart it away. So its staff perks.

So, before we close I want to see if I can scavenge one of the half-height bookshelves and my laser-printer. Although the way things are going round these parts it feels like I ought to be more concerned about getting out the office door on the last day before they are locked...

I will admit that with 2 weeks to go, it is getting silly though, with all the bags of sugar and coffee having been taken home (exacerbating the absence of coffee), paper for printers seems pretty rare... Its getting like an office based Mad Max in here... Actually, that might help perk up the days for the next couple of weeks...

I was watching a bit of telly last night, over on Bravo. I think it was a recycled Mock the Week. But one of the adverts really caught my eye.

For Oxford Paper, who seemed to think that their Unique Selling Point was that the paper quality was so fine that you could write on both sides of the page! *GASP*

I shit you not. That was their advert. writing on both sides of the page.

Whatever will they think of next???

I always thought that the crash barriers in the central reservation were a safty thing. That they were designed to slow the speed of impact and reduce injuries to the occupant of the crashing car and stop it travelling across into the path of traffic on the other side of the motorway.

That’s what I thought.

But for some reason the recent roadworks on the M£ seems to be replacing this metal barrier and central reservation with anti-terror style concrete crash barriers. OUCH.

Now I admit the work is not finished, and there is room either for an additional lane (that would be nice), or for a replacement crash barrier. But if they are deciding to spring for solid concrete on its own that seems like a harsh hard-line in dealing with traffic accidents… On the plus side I suppose the raised height should reduce sightlines and hopefully reduce rubber-necking at the next horrific accident.

As a complete aside. Dear eco-warrior, while your intentions displayed by your bumper sticker are admirable “Tread softly on OUR mother Earth’… I do sense that your point would have been better made on the rear end of a brand new Prius or something with a small engine. But to put the fucker on the back of a 4x4 town land cruiser with a 4 litre enginbe rather makes you out to be a fucking hypocrite.

I think I might start referring to last weeks dental extraction as a Tooth Amputation. Just because it is uneccesarily over-the-top...

I swear I am getting fixated on a very small number of subjects… So I am sorry if Babies, Redundancy, the shit state of the employment market are not your bag, and if Toothache is of no interest either, well, I guess that you might want to avoid talking to me at all for a bit.

Anyway, on with the update.

Niya is growing up just find. She does a lot of shouting for a 3 month old. So definitely the family genetics coming through there… All of my lot want to get the last word… One thing that does surprise me after the initial newborn stage when she immediately started rolling on her side, is that she really doesn’t like being placed face-down, and as a result is not really developing a crawl. She is however enjoying putting the weight on her legs and standing (with appropriate support)… I joked that at this rate she will be up and walking before she crawls. And she is growing so fast that she is nearly out of the baby car seat.

So I guess that means that we are about due the next round of cash injection for the stroller and car seat fairly soon.

As Niya was 100 days old, which is a bit of a milestone in China, we had a baby-focused weekend (well, we always have those now, but you know what I mean). So to commemorate the occasion, we tried to use one of the photo-shoot vouchers from the Bounty pack yesterday. Basically there was an offer for 1 sitting and a free print for every 6 months until 2 years old. Now we know that the secret here is that they then want the full sitting and the opportunity to sell us more pics. The basic unit is an odd sized (10 x12) colour print of the baby, with the rest of the sitting with the rest of the families, special lighting effects, etc. In the end Niya got quite stressed and hungry so we had to call it off, and reschedule for next weekend.

In the meantime I am getting increasingly concerned about the job, and lack of movement on the interview front. Last weeks interview went quite well, I felt and while I have not heard back from them yet, is last words were “we will let you know within 5-10 days” and as time passes I am getting les optimistic, which is a shame as I thought that sounded like a great job, one that I could do, in a field that interests me, AND advanced my career… Nothing to do now but wait and keep applying for any jobs that come along.

I now have 3 weeks until unemployment, and while Li’s job is now safe, she is still on maternity leave, and quite frankly we can’t afford for me to be out of work… At all. And the stress is really starting to bite into me at the moment as a result.

And then there’s the toothache. Finally I have managed to accidentally become an NHS patient at my dentist, and so they are treating my broken teeth. Both of which I think are the result of the previous dentist, anyway, long-story-short, last week they had to extract one of my uppers. The tooth was broken below the gumline, and shattered. They managed to get the roots out, but only after much prodding, poking and pulling, this was uncomfortable under anaesthetic, and I knew it was going to hurt like a bitch when it wore off. 3 days on its throbbing but definitely receding. And it feels really odd. But see how it goes on, if its still a problem a week to 10 days later (Thurs-Sun this week) then I need to revisit the dentist and perhaps arrange surgery at the hospital. But TBH it IS getting better, so I reckon that at least this will be sorted even if it does feel odd.

I’ll just keep up the salt-water mouthwashes for the week.

Oh. I watched Babylon AD over the weekend and Push last week...

Push. A superhero type movie, where the heroes are the result of government PSYops from the last 50 years… Mostly now rogue, they each manifest different abilities from Telepathy, Telekinesis, Prophecy and Healing… No stupid spandex, and in interesting setting in Hong Kong. I rather liked this film and a mid level cast with Dakota Fanning (who seems to be growing into Christina Ricci’s old goth slot), Chris Evans and whats-his-face from Gladiator… I really liked it, but then I would its just my kind of thing.

Similarly I also rather liked Babylon AD. Sure it was not well reviewed and feels like a retread of Children of Men but blowing more shit up. In fact that was the overall sense of the film, wondering what they could blow the shit out of next. In itself the film is relatively crap, there’s nothing new here that you haven’t seen before and its been done better… But me, I was glued, and a happy little smile spread across my face as the story unfolded and a surprisingly strong cast from Mark Strong to Michelle Yeoh through to Gerard Depardieu supported Vin Deisels gravelly voice through the adventures that I used to play out with my mates when we played Cyberpunk. Hell, if this film had been out back then, THIS would have been required viewing… So yeah, for completely different reasons it was a wonderful film.

So I am all dressed up today, once again in suit and tie. I have an interview at 2pm. At the moment this is the only one currently in process, but hopefully some of the other recent conversations will pan out.

OK, so I have a couple of questions for you, to make this more interactive this time (For those few of you who still haunt LJ and havn't run off to freindface or something...)

1. Seemingly the most common question that I am being asked in interview this time around is; "How do you think your friends would describe you?" So, this time, I am checking in advance. What do you think of me?

2. Whats the worst interview question you have ever been asked? And did you get that job?