Welcome to my world.

testing this post to facebook

On a meme picked up from steveeeee over in his Journal...
steveeeee.livejournal.com/831192.html

The rules are threefold.
(1) turn on your music player or fire up your mp3 software
(2) go to SHUFFLE mode
(3) write down the first 30 tracks that come up - artist and title - with NO editing for credibility, anything embarrassing must be left intact

( My List )

Actually, I'm quite happy with that as a random selection...

Ask me a question, anything you wanted to know about me but hithertoo never got around to asking, or just what my opinion on a particular subject is... And I will try my damndest to answer it.

Go on, you know you want to...

I am really enjoying the BBC series recalling the 40th Anniversary of the Apollo 11 moonshot.

Its one thing that I have always had an interest in. And so a nice series of documentaries, even ones that dont tell me anything I havn't already heard before, are most welcome.

OK, so last nights 'being Neil Armstrong' was filler at best and a waste of time and licenvce fee money at worst, but fuck it, at least we/I am getting program's made that interest me. And there was a rather nice 2 hour documentary that followed. And if you see it in the schedules (It was on Channel 4 last time) There is an EXCELLENT documentary doing the rounds called 'In the Shadow of the Moon'. If its broadcast closer to the 20th , I highly recommend you watch it.

I may enhance the series however by adding some DVD's the HBO series from the Earth to the Moon, Apollo 13 and The Right Stuff...

(Speaking of Apollo 13. We never did find out who touched down on Earth first on April 17 1970. The crew of the stricken command module or my Sisters birth... And its probably too late to find out properly now).

Damn we need to go back to the moon, do something to capture the imagination of a generation all over again... hurry up god-dammit!

Over the weekend, we taught little Niya to wave. Ok, I admit she is just copying us, but its dead cute and the start of a more interactive baby... Yay!

However the facial expression that says; "I love you daddy, but I appear to have just shit myself and this nappy is not ging to chance itself..." comes built in on all models.

BTW; Should anyone feel adverse to very occasional bouts of baby cuteness let me know and I'll create a filter, I rather hope that you dont care that much though... Its not like I am going to harp on all day about her.

Those Fridge Raiders chicken snacks...

They should be bad, I am sure, processed cheap chicken, chemical flavoured, etc, etc. Everything about them should ring alarm bells (like Soylent Green... YOURE EATING PEOPLE!)

But they are actually quite yummy.

How is this possible.

And how do I shake the urge to go back to Tesco's and get a few more packs at half price?

Apparently there has been a landmark case that paves the way for legally binding Pre-nuptual agreements here in the UK.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8130176.stm

Its a short article. Heres the text;
So.  Hang on a minute.  A German Heiress has managed to enforce her Pre-nuptual agreement with her French husband.  And while pre-nups were enforceable in both Germany and France, they were not here in the UK, and thus the decision was somehow made to have a non-binding UK pre-nup?!?!?!?

I am sure theres more to the story than that, but on the face of it theres a whole bag of WTF attached to this, and I am fairly sure that with £100m fortune you can hire lawyers that might advise you sign the deal in a country where its valid in the first place...

Oh joy, we move ever closer to a full-on compensation culture.  Thanks for that.

As a kid I used to love B-movies, their cheesy crappness was a nectar, after all, adolescent boys are rarely after fine plot and dialogue, just blow shit up... Our needs are simple at that age. Hell, some people never really grow out of it.

But then I really got into movies and the movie snobbery took over, and for me that turned into a distaste of the B-rolls. Snubbng them as shit, the same retreat of bigger movies but starring much cheaper has-beens and wanna-be's. Often taking popular movies and combining them.

Lets face it, the fact is that the vast majority of B-movies could exist as Trailers only and be complete, a full hour and a half run time is often more than they need. Ironically a joke brought to the semi mainstream by Rodreigez and Tarantino with the Grindhouse project...

But in recent years they have started to sneak back into my conciousness a little, as a corner of my mind finds additional amusment, not neccesarily at the film itself but of the additional made up details behind the movie... You can watch a craoppy movie and when it gets really bad spin the fiction behind the camera, little musings to amuse yourself when the screen action gets worse.

The writer and director thinking of themselves as purveyors of fine art, convincing themselves that the same shit repeated is trying to be edgy and the actors (God bless 'em) working to bring life to the utter shite presented to them... Knowing that their job might pay, but it gets a little bit more shit everyday... Welcome to the hollywood dream... That is of course unless you stumble over the true genmstone, the guy that takes it seriously, that seems to convey the fact that they truely believe themselves to be gods gift to acting and this is their masterpiece.*

I cant imagine what it must feel like to see you work, you heart and soul residing in the bottom shelf cheap old tat, and whether these people do it knowing that this is where it would end up or whether they truely felt that their work was a masterpiece. Surely none of them are going out of their way to make a crap film, cheap for cheaps-sake and why the hell would any actor want to star in one? There has to be a little self-delusion going on there surely???

Are you not entertained?

*Obviously there are exceptions to the rule. Gary Busey for example thrives in the bottom shelf, but is always damn entertaining... And a fair amount of decent foreign cinema ends up down there unless championed by a big Hollywood name and thus becomes bankable, the rest (and there is a lot) either never gets released or sneaks out under the radar finding aniche audience only.

Do these people not watch movies or something? Good lord, has Jurassic Park and King King taught us NOTHING!!!!!

http://www.dinosaurlive.com/

Walking with Dinosaurs goes live with giant, well, life-size dinosaurs on stage. Good lord man, thats a recepie for disaster! Whats that? they are not real? They are actually animatronic robot diinos!?!?! Have you not watched The Terminator!

Science gone mad I tell you!


I bet this one sells out and will be full of screaming kids...

I haven't really talked too much about this have I? Sorry if this is of no interest to you, feel free to skip if you like. But Niya was a month old at the weekend and I just want to talk about being a dad.

I love it. I really do.

Shit its hard work, and no amount of advice from anyone was really that helpful in preparing. Sure we got tonnes of advice, some good, some completely irrelevant, and some was good but impossible to follow. I know a couple of you guys reading this are going to be in a similar boat soon. Listen to ALL the advice, but remember all babies are individual, some of it just wont apply, take the guidance, but temper it because you will need to work out what works best for yourself when you get there.

But here we are 1 month down the line and everytime I look at her my heart breaks a little. And I find myself unable to put into words just how great it all is.

I want to enjoy every moment of her growing up, I want to fast forward to a more interactive baby, I want her to be smart and happy and to live her life anyway that suits her... We went to the clinic and got her weighed yesterday, so she is now 10.5 pounds, a little bit over the percentile (i forgot to as if this was against these new breat-freeding centric charts or the old charts for formula fed babies... I assume the former now... But she was a big baby when born and eats a lot... Thats my girl... Sorry love...)

Everyday we get to learn something new, and soon it'll be her turn to learn new stuff too... And we have been helped out more than we can actually comprehand with loans of kit (thanks to some fotuitously timed babies with friends), the aformentioned advice and a lot of the good vibes being sent by friends and family.

Anyway, now she is at 1 month we can take her out a bit more (after the heatwave maybe, lets just keep her cool in the shade this week, note to self; get sun hat and parasol), but now that she has settled in we can really work on her betime routine and settling her into a bouncer fairly soon.

But I wish they came with a mute button sometimes. Especially at 3am and at dinner time.

I don’t like tennis.

Really I don’t. I can see how other people do, but for myself, shit it’s like mainlining soporifics. Nothing really new there is it, Dan and sports have never really mixed. So when Wimbledon comes around, Dan gets really pissed off with the way that for 2 weeks the whole country goes tennis crazy, and can only really look forward to the day getting rained off or at least some other televisual treats in the evening… So fucking horray for the roof eh? Now they can play till midnight. Fuckers.

And this year we combine it with a real chance at winning, so the UK really goes tennis crazy and there’s a fair chance they won’t lose interest in the second week like they used too.

My only fond memory of Wimbledon was when I was a kid, as its good strawberry picking season, and so when the tenn9is was on, I would often as not find myself in a strawberry field stuffing myself stupid and then going home and stuffing myself even more stupid. What can you say? It was the 70’s not only did these places not seem to mind the pick-your-own crowd eating some produce on the day free of charge, but that these strawberries were probably unwashed and covered in insecticide.

No doubt someone would tell you that’s health and safety gone mad. I won’t as clearly it never bloody killed me.

Anyway, I digress. Wimbledon. And last weekend as a SPECIAL treat. It was Wimbledon, non-stop Michael Jackson tributes (the same tribute repeated twice an night on Friday and Saturday on some of the channels!!!), Big Brother and just in case you were feeling left out you could watch everyone else having fun at Glastonbury too. What a shit weekend TV that was.

Still now we can watch the Jackson family circus as MJ's father tries to turn his sons death into a marketing opportunity and a movie-deal (probably)... So that'll be fun. Not.

I always fely sorry for him I suppose.

Never really a fan, I still had the odd track of his in my CD/MP3 collection, even though his antics really put me off during his 90's 'messiah' phase. But as for the kiddy fiddling I am not really sure what to believe, I feel in my bones that he was as much a victim as the kids. After all, 1 kid would have been suspicious but for a parade of parents to put their kids in danger all to be so outraged as to settle out of court for an undisclosed sum (a decent parent would havce seen it through to a conviction, or better still not send their child to play with Jackson in the first place). I suspect the truth was always somewhere in between.

So, yeah, another famous person has died, shame.

BUT. I still dont get the whole concept of gathering in front of TV cameras crying over the loss of someone you didn't really know and wailing your woes to the four winds on world-wide TV*.

* We'll actually I DO get it, and it has fuck-all to do with the person who just died and more to do with trying to jam your own moment of fame onto their life. Which makes you 'such a great fan'. Still he died like he lived, with people sponging off his fame and fortune.

Its a bit of a pisser for all those people who just bought grossly over-priced tickets on ebay after their limited (and over-priced) availability... Its not like he had a recent track record for being able to complete his tour dates anyway.

So RIP Jacko.

Sorry your dead.

"Am I Mad? In A Coma? Or Back In Time??"
Sam Tyler. 1973.

I just read a review in last months SFX for the US remake of Life on Mars. Now one thing about the US version is that it clearly did not strike the same vein of nostalgia as the UK version, and the the requirement of a TV show to make mass profits just does not fit the formula. Perhaps the fact that the UK version had already played on BBC America hit it too...

Anyway, long story short, it was not as highly regarded as our own original version and was cancelled.

But the thing that gets me is the discomfort of US TV at making things vague. Here in the UK we never really found out what was going on... All the way through it could be mad hallucinations, coma driven dreams or time travel... or even all of the above. The clues were there for ALL of these... And this continued into Ashes to Ashes also.

But I feel saddened by the requirement for the US version to tidy everything intoa nice neat little box. And of course to take the shows name far more literally, probably due to the reduced standing of the Bowie classic its named for).

Oh yes, what was the US solution to the mad/come/time travel dilemma? None of the above. Sam Tyler wakes up, its 2035 and he is a crewman on a NASA mission to mars and the adventures in 1999/1973 are a VR driven dream that occupied him while he slept for the journeies duration.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_on_Mars_(U.S._TV_series)

No. really. I am not shitting you. What a crappy lame wimp-out of an explanation. Shit at least here in the UK, Sam Tyler woke from his coma, found 1999 no longer felt real and leapt from a tall building to wake back in 1973 and save the day... Which was only marginally less of an answer as the cliff-hanger of Ashes to Ashes...

"Bolly. Wake up. They think I shot you!"
Gene Hunt. 1982.

Apparently... The BNP may be taken to court because their membership criteria "appeared to discriminate on the grounds of race and colour, in breach of the Race Relations Act. "


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8114619.stm

Thats bloody great, I needed a good laugh today...

With all the work woes at the moment, at least I dont work for British Airways. Who have asked staff to take July as unpaid.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/8102862.stm

"British Airways is asking thousands of staff to work for nothing, for up to one month, to help the airline survive.

The appeal, sent by e-mail to more than 30,000 workers in the UK, asks them to volunteer for between one week and one month's unpaid leave, or unpaid work. "

So. Either work unpaid for a month, or take unpaid leave? Seems pretty clear to me, although how they would manage without the staff is beyond me...

Still at least this is being led from above;

"BA's chief executive Willie Walsh has already agreed to work unpaid in July, forgoing his month's salary of £61,000."

Thats awfully nice of him, to use his outrageously bloated salary to see him through the lean month, just how will he manage??? I assume far-fucking-better than anyone on a more reasonable salary who get less than his months wages for the year!!!

Seriously, this one just smacks of a 'get fucked' attitude towards the staff.

Whats next? Charging the cabin crew/pilots for their tickets?

Legoland is celebrating. Oh yes, every year they celebrate their Nordic origins with a Viking festival.

http://www.legoland.co.uk/park/events2009.htm

Where they encourage the kids to come dressed as Vikings (for the boys)... Or a Princess (for Girls).

Now. I know I am over-thinking the issue here, its for kids after all, but really, historically, when Vikings captured women on their raids, the results were not really child-friendly... That and its a bit inherently sexist. ;p

(To be honest, when Niya is old enough, and if they are still doing this, she will also go dressed as a Viking, although she will actually be a Valkyrie! Oh yes, to the glory of Odin, yada, yada, yada...) And if the offer stays open, then we WILL go, because dads go free with a paying child, and THAT is a masive saving these days.

I am actually quite looking forward to all this Daddy stuff and breaking the historical and cultural stereotypes where I can...

So there I was... Walking through town to pick up some essentials... And I pass the guys in a booth selling Sky TV subscriptions... A couple of older guys in suits. But something clicked in my mind and I double taked.

There was the respectable guy in charge, sure, a little portly, but decent suit and tie combo. Nothing wrong there, but it was his colleague that had caught my attention and then he turned and I realised what it was...

He was wearing his heavy neck chain openly. No we are not talking open chested medallion here, oh no, the truth was far worse than that. There he was suited and booted, but for some reason he woke up in the morning, discarded his tie and wore instead his chain over an open collar OVER his shirt.

W.T.F!?!?!

Come on man! Its 2009, not the 1980s! Now I know theres a big nodtalgia kick for the 80's, but this was a step too far. Stop it, stop it NOW! Whats next? Leg warmers and mis-matched day-glo terry socks??? WE MUST DRAW A LINE IN THE SAND, HERE AND NO FURTHER!!!

Sorry. But really. No.

Hey Madonna.

Rather than saving all the 'cute' children one at a time, would it not be a better use of that money to setup a charitable foundation and better the lives of hundreds of kids. hell, club together with Angelina and you could work at saving them all!!!

Its not like you are actually going to be the one doing the raising of the kid is it? Thats what the nannies are for!

Jeez.

While I am at it.

OI! London Underground!

Going on a 48 hour strike over a 5% pay rise and guarantee of no compulsary redundancies while the rest of the population is in the same shit you want to avoid just makes you out as Arsehats. Stop fucking around and go to work you bunch of lazy wankers (although I dont mind if you screw over the footie tonight, so have the day).

OI! Christian Slater!

Doing an Advert for PC world is NOT really a career move, although I suppose its got to be better than working for Uwe Boll. Certainly a tad more credibility for your money. ;p

OI! Gordon Brown!

We might have been telling you that reform in the voting process wa svital, but to wait until AFTER you got screwed by the electorate to agree just goes to show how lazy and scared you are at the potential for a right rogering at the next election. Still, you should not be worried about anyone going after the PM Job, you are safe there, no politician wants to be running the ship as its crashing, they want you to blame for the right fuck up that'll be due next year (because you clearly wont call an election until the last possible moment).

And as for the BNP. Thats what you get when you use your right as a voter to NOT vote. To all those people that didn't want the BNP representing them, but couldn't be arsed to go and cast a vote? Its YOUR fault. Reap what you sow you sorry bunch... But dont you go crying about the result when you did bugger all to stop it.

hmmm. yes, thats about it, the last 2 weeks of comments in one handy post.

So, back at work today...

Thats 2 week paternity leave in the bag, feeling like no time at all. She is still a beautiful bundle who breaks my heart everytime I look at her, but life goes on, y'know.

In the meantime, I return to find that there has been no cover at my job for the last 2 weeks, and that the company has decided to close this office in September, with a reveiw due as to whether we will all be made redundant or offered a position at either Swindon or Stevenage.

My money is of course on the latter, mostly because that way they force people to resign rather than pay out redundancy packages...

And clearly this leaves my highly motivated to care now I am back to being buried under 2 weeks worth of work.

You know the saying about how rats leave a sinking ship?

*SQUEAK*